Do men have room to attack?


Working for the Council of Europe in a team to create a human rights handbook for young people, I met people working in this field across Europe. Our efforts to include the presentation of East and West on an equal footing have given rise to numerous discussions, one of which I mentioned as I began working on this article. Pat, a human rights teacher from the UK, convinced me that the textbook should be simple and primitive. She said that in her country they will be used by people who sometimes did not pass any exams and finished 3-4 grades. As an argument, she added that in Britain in general, all media outlets are published in two languages ​​- ordinary literary and such that the "working class" (with 3-4 classes and without any exams) can read and understand. I was interested in this topic, and I tried to find out how two English languages ​​differ in one country. It turned out that such newspapers and magazines have more pictures and fewer words, and the sentences themselves do not use "smart" words, have a simple structure, and use modern slang and innovations.

When I stumbled upon some modern men's magazines, I realized what Pat had told me and what the language should look like in Ukraine. The only difference from the English reality is that it is also Russian, not Ukrainian. I will not name which magazines I mention as examples, because I do not consider myself an expert in this field, I do not want to advertise them in this way and I am not going to describe them all, but only to show how this type of media affects human behavior. and changing its attitude to the problems of violence, aggression, conflict.
Nowadays, when the level of aggression in the world is growing as another wave and as its general accumulation, it is important to be able to find such points to which efforts can have a synergistic effect.

Gender mainstreaming, both in analyzes and projections, can help make these efforts more conscious and effective.

The culture of war and violence and existing gender inequality are evident around the world. Many people now believe that gender injustice and war are as intertwined as the culture of peace depends on the achievement of gender justice, equality between women and men, disarmament and demilitarization.
Departing from the primitive understanding of gender issues and only in their external manifestation, we can see the profound impact of gender equality and inequality, balance and imbalance on such manifestations of human behavior as aggression and tolerance, competition and cooperation.
How can we trace this connection? Where are the facts and conclusions relevant to our experience? Why is the title of the article constructed in this way?

In the theory and practice of conflict, several main types of approaches to conflict transformation are considered:
* - domination of one party;
* - withdrawal from the conflict;
* - compromise;
* - transcendence (going beyond the conflict in order to resolve it creatively).

At the same time, the application of the first approach - the dominance of one party - is traditionally expected by society from men, both in relations with women and with other men. Accordingly, women are expected to withdraw from the conflict, and a compromise is expected in relations between men, and sometimes women. The fourth type refers to wise decisions and is welcomed by all the baggage of cultural heritage - folklore, religion, traditions. This approach is for non-standard solutions, free from stereotypes.

Of course, expecting the type of behavior in conflict does not necessarily mean following it, but the burden of stereotypes is very influential, and even strong people who understand their relativity are often unable to abandon the "standard" behavior of "real" women or "real" men. .
The less stereotypical behavior, the more alternatives, the less likely violence. Style depends on many identities, but we emphasize gender, as the oldest of all "dividing lines", as well as the one we have encountered since the first days of our lives. It is comprehensive because it exists in all societies, even the less globalized ones, and, along with the racial one, has some of the most developed structures for counteracting and overcoming discrimination and injustice among other vulnerable and oppressed groups. Therefore, the gender metaphor can be used for other lines of the section.

According to Johan Galtung's theory of violence and his transsend method, there are at least three types of violence:
[1] direct violence: deliberately aimed at harming;
[2] cultural violence: legitimizes the other two types as fair;
[3] structural violence: unconscious, habitual, everyone is involved in it in one way or another.
The damage caused by violent conflicts is often not limited to material damage, death and injury. It has visible and invisible consequences.

How does this relate to gender and the space for "offensive" men in particular? Considering the aggressiveness of men's behavior, let's turn to scientists who have studied masculinity.
Kilmartin (Ki

lmartin, C.T.) formulated the following reasons that indicate the need to study male psychology:
1. 1. Although men in general have more influence than women, there are men, and there are many who are not endowed with this influence, and hard male socialization has only harmed them. In addition, with relatively little power in society, men can provide intensive assistance in bringing about change.
2. 2. When communicating with strong women, men often experience serious difficulties. But since childhood, boys are brought up in the belief that they should be strong and powerful, so strong women are perceived as a threat to masculinity. This contradiction needs to be resolved, as strong women are becoming more and more.
3. 3. The quality of relationships with the environment in men sometimes suffers from the fact that these relationships unfold in a framework where there is no place for the basic human need - intimacy.

The ideology of masculinity, as a set of social norms, consists of norms of status (or success), rigidity (mental, emotional, physical) and anti-femininity.
The norm of status or success is formed and maintained by a gender stereotype, which states that a man's value is determined by the amount of his earnings and success at work.

Mental rigidity presupposes the knowledge and competence of a man in all areas and at a high level.
The stereotype of masculinity, according to which a man should feel little feelings and be able to solve their emotional problems without the help of others, refers to the norm of emotional firmness.

Finally, physical rigidity expects from a man physical strength and high biological activity.

The media play not the least role in influencing the formation, compliance, control and transmission of these norms. And the technologies by which this is transmitted try to affect, first of all, the layer that is between consciousness and subconscious, and can be called as a zone of the unconscious.

"59 things that every man should know (in the magazine highlighted in red) (to be them)" - these are the "norms of rigidity" for those who read "light" entertainment magazines.

Physical norms help to become a real macho and teach, for example, how to unbutton a bra with one hand or other, more naturalistic details.

It is suggested that mental norms be achieved by knowing the sentence "I love" in twelve languages, why the sky is blue, although, like modern Onegin, more "intellectual" advice and knowledge is offered - for example, what percentage of the brain a person uses.

The "real" man must be emotionally closed and restrained, so there is no advice on this topic, although later we will find advice for women on the emotional state of men. Another magazine describes ten advantages of a cell phone over a wife (of course, the phone wins), which also helps to compensate for the emotionality of the phone, not in human relationships. Here, in support of "successful communications", a duel is offered as a means of communication.

The norms of anti-femininity can be followed by playing in a casino (of course, winning), fishing, tying a knot of boules (the simplest sea knot), having a "cool" motorcycle.

No man is able to fully comply with all the above norms, because there will always be someone smarter, more emotionally restrained, stronger, because there are no absolute standards of these norms, because they are constantly changing. Men are under pressure from these norms and try to compensate for feelings of failure in the professional and economic spheres through compensatory courage - a set of qualities by which men are forced to compensate for their non-compliance with the generally accepted standard of courage. This manifests itself in various forms of "coolness" - aggression, violence, cruelty, attempts to subdue the weak, among whom the first candidates are women.

However, it is difficult for a man to maintain the standard of traditional male role, so he has male gender-role stresses - psychological states that occur in situations where gender roles negatively affect a person and his environment. Such stresses further intensify compensatory reactions, creating a vicious circle.

Defective polyscreen, design and structure of the magazine in the best traditions of NLP influence destroy the system of thinking, freely cluttering the mind and (more importantly!) Subconscious.

In another magazine, when asked by the editor-in-chief what people do in the month when the magazine is published, the answer shows that these people are men, they do the same thing as in the previous magazine. Of course, the magazine is for "people".

Such "education" actually leaves very little room, even for the retreat of men, and especially for the offensive. Frames of stereotypes and traditional violent structures drive into a dead end that threatens both women and men.

Are there ways to avoid the "traps of aggression"? The Empowering Education Program has been following them for seven years, helping children and adults to be more aware of their lives and resolve conflicts peacefully.